So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
