I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
