saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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