apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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