I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
