i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
