Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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