Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
