fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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