i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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