the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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