hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
