You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
