i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
