oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
