We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
