remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
