bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
