Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
