I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
