We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
