i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize