So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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