guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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