His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
