I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
