I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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