Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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