Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
