I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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