we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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