Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
