hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
