id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
