I wannas sexs uuuuu
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
