he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
