Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window

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(323): View more from California

We should be called the Road Head Warriors

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy

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(714): View more from California

I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.

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(905): View more from Ontario

We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?

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