i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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