We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
