i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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