the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
