he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
