I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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