So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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