No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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