i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
