Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
