I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
