I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
