I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
