Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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