please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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