I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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