Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
