We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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