I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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