White coat. Heels.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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