You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm always down for nudity.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize