I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
