Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
