I feel like abortions should bother me more
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
