omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
