Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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