I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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