You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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